I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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