tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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