My nipple is on Facebook.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize