i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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