After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We have started to decorate penises.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
