u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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