let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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