nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I looked at my own cervix.
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
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It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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