My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
