you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
