the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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