i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
