he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
