Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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