Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
