You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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