he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
