i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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