he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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