I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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