Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
