Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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