i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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