a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize