you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
