It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
