So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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