a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just found a bag of teeth...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
