Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize