You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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