Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
