Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
