Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
