farters have to be the big spoon...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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