I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I could make wine with my vomit
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
