So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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