nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
