i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
