actually, I'm a sock model
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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