I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Houston, we have a blender
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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