so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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