I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?