And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Sorry about my life...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
