My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
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We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
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hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING