I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Help me help you realize you are a moron