We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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