im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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