my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
