my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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