So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
