something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
