this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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