I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
