Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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