if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize