I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
