I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
