the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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