Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
