glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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