We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
