wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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