Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Mmmm, vodka for breakfast

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  (404): Mmmm, vodka for breakfast http://tfl.nu/n4af
  Replies (16) Good night (3007) Bad night (734)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf

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  (262): I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf http://tfl.nu/oxnj
  Replies (22) Good night (7349) Bad night (1694)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

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  (713): when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed http://tfl.nu/1ijl
  Replies (13) Good night (5193) Bad night (1323)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"

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  (859): he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots" http://tfl.nu/5st6
  Replies (47) Good night (1256) Bad night (4307)
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  (516): View more from New York

  This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.

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  (516): This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me. http://tfl.nu/6e09
  Replies (8) Good night (2939) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.

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  (419): Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/o1pz
  Replies (12) Good night (1337) Bad night (2643)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king

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  (571): I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king http://tfl.nu/c906
  Replies (8) Good night (1885) Bad night (632)
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  (530): View more from California

  it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam

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  (530): it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam http://tfl.nu/24cr
  Replies (4) Good night (3264) Bad night (890)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater

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  (506): She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater http://tfl.nu/6nsz
  Replies (15) Good night (491) Bad night (2417)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook

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  (303): Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook http://tfl.nu/i5be
  Replies (5) Good night (533) Bad night (1496)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant

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  (614): Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant http://tfl.nu/jhvb
  Replies (3) Good night (952) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night

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  (757): So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night http://tfl.nu/a36m
  Replies (4) Good night (745) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.

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  (314): I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault. (1-314): Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/fjsh
  Replies (5) Good night (1304) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.

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  (281): Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever. http://tfl.nu/g095
  Replies (2) Good night (1384) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.

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  (773): i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive. http://tfl.nu/jzd0
  Replies (1) Good night (228) Bad night (502)

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