So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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