she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
