Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life

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(646): in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life http://tfl.nu/n6il

Replies (24) Good night (1237) Bad night (4471)
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(613): View more from Ontario

do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?

(1-613): View more from Ontario

not a thing

(613): View more from Ontario

walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom

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(613): do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom? (1-613): not a thing (613): walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom http://tfl.nu/euwx

Replies (19) Good night (1040) Bad night (5266)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.

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(416): Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck. http://tfl.nu/lba2

Replies (16) Good night (7435) Bad night (1270)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

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(832): You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry http://tfl.nu/vuqf

Replies (21) Good night (2024) Bad night (4784)
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(712): View more from Iowa

We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.

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(712): We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this. http://tfl.nu/g847

Replies (16) Good night (3756) Bad night (1093)
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(727): View more from Florida

you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot

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(727): you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot http://tfl.nu/icr3

Replies (4) Good night (2351) Bad night (1057)
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(713): View more from Texas

Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'

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(713): Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly' http://tfl.nu/5ixk

Replies (5) Good night (3717) Bad night (953)
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(315): View more from New York

hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.

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(315): hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time. http://tfl.nu/7nlf

Replies (10) Good night (3213) Bad night (1058)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)

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(507): I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!) http://tfl.nu/tvr2

Replies (10) Good night (3399) Bad night (859)
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(969): View more from

I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.

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(969): I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight. http://tfl.nu/btdd

Replies (5) Good night (2138) Bad night (1078)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.

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(502): Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer. http://tfl.nu/e067

Replies (11) Good night (1460) Bad night (1099)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

Found the puke drawer

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(910): Found the puke drawer http://tfl.nu/lcvb

Replies (6) Good night (562) Bad night (1806)
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(757): View more from Virginia

SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?

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(757): SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get? http://tfl.nu/a9m1

Replies (12) Good night (1307) Bad night (1328)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?

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(208): I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know? http://tfl.nu/ulgs

Replies (3) Good night (665) Bad night (384)
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(802): View more from Vermont

Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.

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(802): Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night. http://tfl.nu/0una

Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (448)

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