I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
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woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
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He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.