Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.